Remove your roadblocks

photo credit: Old Sarge

I recently attended a fantastic networking event.  During a discussion session, the talk turned to one woman’s difficulty with finding a new position.

Several people had provided this person advice on how to network with a purpose, but she kept  pushing back.  “That won’t work,” she’d say.  “You don’t understand.”  “That’s not my situation.”  And, “I don’t care where I end up, I just want a job.”

What was so clear  throughout the conversation was that she felt powerless.  What she was doing wasn’t working.  She didn’t know how to get to where she wanted to go.  But, when people gave her options, she shut them down.

This behavior isn’t uncommon.  It’s hard to open ourselves to opportunity.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  What can we do to move past our self-built roadblocks?

• The problem: Perspective. Sometimes, it’s difficult to see your life in any other way than how you always have.  There are solutions out there for you, even if you don’t know what they are.  The solution: Find a mentor. Some people partner with a career coach to help them reevaluate their situation and devise goals and plans to get there.  Others tap professionals in their field, trusted advisors, or friends with a gift for withholding judgment.  The goal here is to have someone to act as a sounding board and to ask the difficult questions, to help you think about your life in ways you haven’t before.
• The problem: Pride. It’s difficult to admit that what we thought was the right path might not be.  This is why it’s best to wait for people to ask for advice before offering — some people will take it as an affront that you may “know better.”  The solution: Embrace learning. No one knows everything about everything.  This is not a sign of weakness.  What is a weakness is the inability to learn.  Understanding that we can all learn from each other, every day, is the first step to allowing yourself to contemplate your possibilities.
• The problem: Fear. Imagine that you’re capable of completely overhauling your life.  You can have exactly the life that you want.  All you have to do is start.  Feeling a little woozy?  Well, you can make your life into what you want it to be, but it can be daunting and difficult.  Sometimes, we create stories about why we can’t, to stop from having to face the terror that comes from realizing that we can.  The solution: Get support. If what you want to accomplish requires doing new things in a new way, you’re likely to hit some bumps in the road.  Talk to those around you and explain what you want to do and how.  Let them know if you’ll need their help–this could be financial, emotional, or physical depending on your goal.  Make sure you have these resources in place when you get started.

If you don’t know what you want, or if you know what you want but don’t know how to get there, ask yourself: what’s really stopping me?  Then, get the help you need to get that roadblock out of your way.

Related posts:

1. Job search over 50: Unique challenges, unique opportunities
2. Get support: Your personal Board of Directors
3. Are you the phoenix? Coping with career challenges
4. Taking the first step towards excellence
5. Personal power: Power is not a four letter word

Tagged as: behavior, Career, Coaching, goals, support