photo credit: bb_matt
I am the mother to a beautiful, funny, life-changing little girl.
There. I said it. Now I’m unemployable.
Or, that’s what many people would have me believe. When I entered the job market as a new mom, the number one piece of advice I received was “don’t tell people you’re a mother.” In my head, I thought that was ridiculous. All we hear about nowadays are family-friendly workplaces and work/life balance. Certainly, plenty of organizations wouldn’t bat an eye at my parental status. But the more the advice came, the more it made me doubt my clarity.
Until I reached out to Felicia Slattery. Felicia is a talented coach and public speaker, a consummate professional, and also a mom. And when I asked her about her experiences being a business owner and mother, and whether she had ever faced negative reactions to being open about her family commitments, Felicia’s advice was clear: ALWAYS be who you are. And that was just what I needed to reorient my mental framework on the issue.
Any organization that doesn’t value you as a whole individual is somewhere on the range from short-sighted to clueless. Whether you’re a parent, an avid skydiver, a volunteer fundraiser for cancer charities, the leader of a knitting circle, a marathon runner, a business blogger, or whatever else you participate in outside of your 9-to-5 employment — inhibiting your pursuit of your passions and priorities will never make you a greater corporate asset.
The lessons we learn in our outside pursuits — determination for the marathon runner, patience and selflessness for the parent, persistence and relationship building for the fundraiser, etc. — all pay off in the workplace. And the feelings that we’re left with when we’re forced to choose between our jobs and our home lives are not the sort which engender loyalty or engagement.
Companies that understand people understand that people don’t work for paychecks — they work for what those paychecks ENABLE.
And that’s just the kind of organization that I want to work for.
So, consider this my Mothers’ Day gift to you, whether or not you are an “honoree”: Give your talents to an organization that values them. And never apologize for the richness in your life.
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- Guest Post: Does your career support your lifestyle?
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I really appreciate your post.
I am a definable ‘displaced homemaker’ in that I am over 50, overweight, completely gray, with older children, younger children, a “traditional” husband and a future need to market myself into the workforce. I have waited long years to go back to school and become, at long last, what I wanted to be ‘when I grew up.’
Although I am in graduate school now, I have the distinct feeling that my age and frumpiness are negatively influencing scholarship committees – lessening the privilege of continuing my education and obtaining a great job: “After reviewing your application, it is apparent that you are an exemplary student committed to your graduate studies and furthering your education so that you may continue to positively impact your professional field and the individuals and communities that will benefit from your service, however, . . .”
Being non-scholarship material is much the same as being unemployable: they don’t want me no matter how nicely they glamorize the execution. And it is the scholarship which will actually propel me into the job market after the accomplishment of the degree.
I am beginning to think that being who I am, with a declining physical presence, does not afford me a competitive edge at this lumbering age . Too many Xer’s and Yer’s out there ahead of me looking fresh and offering ferocity to declining organizations who want a makeover. And although I would never apologize for the “richness” in my life, never-the-less, I’ll need more than value to get through school and land that dream job.
Linda: What you’re facing a lot of people can sympathize with. And there is a reality that sometimes, age can get in the way. However, sometimes, age is an asset, and always it’s a state of mind.
I encourage you to consider turning this challenge on its head. Too often the issue is less age and more perceived energy level. What can you do to let your inner energy, confidence and youthfulness shine through? Good luck.