Networking barrier-busters: 4 keys to productive networking

At a recent business networking mixer, much of the after-work crowd was perched on bar stools or huddled around tables, deep in raucous conversation. It was clear that most were feeling more “mixer,” less “business.”

I caught up with a woman I met a couple of months ago, and after a short chat she introduced me to the two women she was conversing with. I introduced myself warmly, shook their hands, and asked one of the women what brought her to the event.

She cut me off. “Let me ask you, how do you get business other than networking?”

That wasn’t so much a question as a challenge.

She shared how she couldn’t even go to a business networking event anymore without someone trying to sell her something. Once upon a time, she said, people came to events to meet people. She told me clearly, she doesn’t come to events to be sold.

Problem was that I wasn’t trying to sell her. And making that presumption got in the way of us making a real connection.

I can understand how she feels. During that same event I had a separate conversation that went something like this: (names have been changed to protect the ineffectual.)

Bob*: Hi Kristi, I’m Bob. Here’s my card.

Me: Hi, Bob. (looking at card) What does your company do?

Bob: I do computer repair. [Insert spiel on virus protection, backups, software installation, etc.] Maybe you’d like me to check out your system? It’s really terrible when something crashes and you lose your work.

Me: Actually, I used to be a programmer, so I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to keep my computer in shape.

Bob: (deflated) Oh. Well, I’d still love your referrals. Here, let me give you a couple more cards that you can give to your friends. And by the way, can I have your card so that I can add you to my newsletter?

Me: (looking for exit.)

If your networking conversations sound anything like the above, stop. Stop now.

With all the talk of the importance of business networking and what it can mean for your professional life, everyone is hitting the pavement, cards in hand, waiting for the cash to fall all over them. But because so many of your peers are out there, it’s harder to get past peoples’ defenses. They’re used to being pitched. To be successful, you have to be different.

• If you think of your business  networking efforts in terms of leads, those leads can smell it. Master networkers may have goals in mind for their attendance at an event, but if you’re just getting started, focus on creating positive interactions with the people you meet. When you’ve gotten good at engaging with people, finding common ground, and building rapport, then you can layer your business goals on top of that. Otherwise, your business goals will be all anyone can see.
• Never presume someone wants or needs what you have to offer. You can’t know if what you offer is what someone needs until you know what they need. Which means you have to ask. And you have to earn the opportunity to ask by building a relationship first. If you’re not sure how to do that, see above.
• Never try to close a sale in that first meeting. If you manage to navigate to the point where you see a fit between what you offer and what they need, don’t sacrifice the chance at a long-term relationship for the chance at a quick fix. Tell them you’d love to discuss further, and make arrangements for a future conversation or meeting to work out the details. Then, move on to meeting other great people.
• Network with an open heart. Some people are great networkers, others struggle. Rarely is someone deliberately inept. Good networking is about looking for opportunities — for you to help them, for others you know to help them, and ultimately for them to help you. If you don’t approach each person you meet from that position, you’ll not only miss some opportunities, you might alienate really great people who could help you meet your own goals.

Keeping these four points in mind is the first and best way to avoid coming across as a needworker, and instead place yourself in the mindset to create meaningful networking connections.

Related posts:

1. Trust and Networking: 3 Keys to a Business Network that Works
2. Networking event success: Know the goal before you go
3. Networking with confidence: You cannot fail
4. Networking Ninja Tip: Know What You Need
5. Facebook Friends and Business Networking: Friend is a Dirty Word

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